Thoughts that cause jealousy and the error of comparing oneselle to another - Expert Clinical Psychologist Romina Kuyumcuoglu Jealousy is not a feeling, but a phenomenon that arises from the combination of various thoughts! So jealousy is the result of our thoughts. Thoughts such as "Why don't I have one?!", "She's prettier, stronger, richer, more successful...", "Let me have what she has!" causes a phenomenon called jealousy. What starts jealousy comes from comparing me and the others to what they have. "She's prettier, stronger, richer, more successful than me..." "She's got a nicer house." "He's got a better job." "He's got better physique than I do." Comparing ourselves to others leads us to jealousy. However, apples and pears and watermelons are not comparable. Just as each of them has different color, texture, appearance and taste, and therefore cannot be compared, people are also different and special from each other. That's why they're incomparable. What happens in nature doesn't compare to each other anyway. The tree does not compare itself to the flower, the bird does not compare itself to the lion, the lion does not compare itself to the giraffe. Each of them exists with pleasure, especially in life. The comparison is for humans, because the main reason for the comparison is our own thoughts. If we recognize the redundancy of comparison thoughts and remove them from the structure, the phenomenon of jealousy disappears. If the person compares the beauties, characteristics and qualities he has with another, it is not fair. Because every individual exists with all that they have. If one compares only one part of it to a part of the other person (his house is better than mine), it can't be a very objective comparison. It would also be quite wrong to compare the person only from here, as he cannot define the size of the house he owns. It's not just our intelligence, it's not our home, it's not just our physique, it's not just our interests, it's not just our abilities that make us who we are. It's all and more than all of this that makes us who we are. "Is it just the way you look beautiful that makes you who you are? Is it just your job that makes you who you are? Is it just your size that makes you who you are? Is it just your intelligence that makes you who you are? Is that your car that made you who you are? Are you just one thing that compares one piece of yourself to one piece of the other?" What starts jealousy comes from comparing me and the others to what they have. We learn to compare ourselves to others with what we hear, but today as an adult we have the power to restructure everything we learned in childhood. No human being is just one thing that compares itself to the other, it is contrary to the way man exists, so the so-called comparison is the result of a complete error of thought. Don't make that mistake! #malloftrends #linkedin #fashionblog #lifestyleblog #inspirationmotivation #jealousy #valueyourself #jobseekers

Martiaing training Guru Gobing Singh: During his stay at Paonta, Guru Gobind Singh availed himself of his spare time to practice different forms of manly exercises, such as riding, swimming and archery. His increasing influence among the people and the martial exercises of his men excited the jealousy of the neighbouring Rajput hill rulers who led by Raja Fateh Chand of Garhwal collected a host to attack him. But they were worsted in an action at Bhangam, about 10 km north-east of Paonta, in September 1688. Soon thereafter Guru Gobind Singh left Paonta Sahib and returned to Anandpur. The Guru and his Sikhs were involved in a battle with a Mughal commander, Alif Khan, at Nadaur on the left bank of the Beas, about 30 km south-east of Kangra, in March 1691. Describing the battle in stirring verse in Bachitra Natak, he said that Alif Khan fled in utter disarray "without being able to give any attention to his camp." Among several other battles that occurred was the Husain battle (20 February 1696) fought against Husain Khan, an imperial general, which resulted in a decisive victory for the Sikhs. Following the appointment in 1694 of the liberal Prince Muazzam (later Emperor Bahadur Shah) as viceroy of north-western region including Punjab, there was however a brief respite from pressure from the ruling authority. In Sambat 1756 (1699 A.D), Guru Gobind Singh issued directions to Sikh sangats or communities in different parts not to acknowledge masands, the local ministers, against whom he had heard complaints. He asked the Sikhs to send their offerings directly to Anandpur.

Detailed Account: Guru Har Krishan Sahib was born on Sawan Vadi 10, (8 Sawan), Bikrami Samvat 1713, (Wednesday, 23 July 1656) at Kiratpur Sahib. He was the second son of Guru Har Rai Sahib and Mata Krishan Kaur Ji (Sulakhni Ji). Ram Rai, the elder brother of Guru Harkrishan Sahib was ex-communicated and disinherited due to his anti-Guru Ghar activities, as stated earlier and Sri Harkrishan Sahib Ji at the age of about five years, was declared as Eighth Nanak Guru by his father Guru Har Rai Sahib before his death in 1661. This act inflamed Ram Rai Ji with jealousy and he complained to Emperor Aurangzeb against his father's decision. The Emperor replied in favour issuing orders through Raja Jai Singh to the young Guru to appear before him. Raja Jai Singh sent his emissary to Kiratpur Sahib to bring the Guru to Delhi. At first the Guru was not willing to travel to Delhi, but after repeated requests of his followers and Raja Jai Singh, he agreed to the trip. The following quote from www.sikh-history.com Guru Har Rai passed away on 20 October 1661. Guru Har Krishan consoled the disciples. He asked them not to give way to despair but abide by the Will of the Almighty. All should sing God's praises and not weep or lament. As days went by, the disciples began pouring in from far and near. They were delighted to have a sight of the Guru. He sat on the throne, a small figure, young in years, but mature in wisdom. Says Bhai Santokh Singh, "The early morning sun looks small in size, but its light is everywhere. So was Guru Har Krishan' s fame, without limit." Those who came to see him were instructed in true knowledge. They had their heart's desires fulfilled and their sins erased. The Sikhs recognized him as the picture of Guru Nanak. They saw on Guru Har Krishan's handsome face the same light as must have been on Guru Nanak's.

Ulema Jealousy of the Sikhs: Later, when Aurangzeb's forces chased Dara seeking his death before he could rally forces to retake the Mughal throne, Dara Shikoh came to the Punjab and sought the protection and help of Guru Har Rai. The Guru not wanting to defy his grandfather’s tenets would not allow the Sikhs to aid in an armed confrontation. But his tactical manoeuvres delayed the crossing of the river at Goindwal of Aurangzeb’s army, thus enabling Dara to escape. The Guru’s strong cavalry of 2,300 riders had removed all the boats which the Mughal army had needed to cross the river. The Sikhs aid in Dara’s escape had already developed bitterness in Aurangzeb’s mind against the Sikhs. The humane practices of Guru Har Rai as opposed to the atrocities of the Mughals, had led to many Hindus whether Dalit or Brahmin to turn to Sikhism instead of accepting Islam. Guru Har Rai’s accomplishments were angering the Muslim clergy around Aurangzeb. They incited the Emperor claiming that lines in the Holy Granth Sahib disparaged the Holy Qur'an and Muslim doctrine. They asked him to summon the Guru to Delhi to explain these phrases.

The popularity and wrong rumours create hatred: This increase in popularity of Guru Arjan caused jealousy and grave concern among the strict and fundamentalist Muslims at the Mughal court in Delhi, who started being hostile towards the house of Guru Nanak Dev Ji. This great doubt, concern and wrong suspicion about the Guru in the minds of the Mughal leader was being flamed by the enemies of the house of Nanak. This was further heightened by the malicious manipulations of Chandu Shah, an influential Hindu banker and revenue official at the Emperor's Darbar (Court) at Lahore. He had once been advised to arrange a marriage of his daughter with Guru Arjan Dev Ji’s only son, Hargobind, but because of his contempt for the Guru, he laughed at such a suggestion using harsh words that eventually were repeated to the Guru. The Mughal court leaders spread wrong rumour about the Guru to the Mughal leadership; so much so that Emperor Jahangir was totally confused about who the Guru was and what his message was for this world. Read what Emperor Jahangir had written in his diary the "Tuzuk-i-Jahagiri" ( "Memoirs of Jahangir") about the Guru and realise how confused he was: "In Govindwal, which is on the river Biyah (Beas), there was a Hindu named Arjun, in the garments of sainthood and sanctity, so much so that he had captured many of the simple-hearted of the Hindus, and even of the ignorant and foolish followers of Islam, by his ways and manners, and they had loudly sounded the drum of his holiness. They called him Guru, and from all sides stupid people crowded to worship and manifest complete faith in him. For three or four generations (of spiritual successors) they had kept this shop warm. Many times it occurred to me to put a stop to this vain affair or to bring him into the assembly of the people of Islam."

Guru Arjun Dev Letters: Arjan Dev proceeded to Lahore where, his father had asked him to remain until called for and to take charge of the needs and education of the Sikhs in Lahore, his father's ancestral home. Two years later, feeling intensely homesick, Arjan Dev composed a poem of love and devotion and sent it to Guru Ram Das ji. This poem along with another one, sent a few month's later were intercepted by his elder brother Prithi Chand who made sure his father never received them. Finally Arjan wrote a third poem marking it with the number 3 and gave strict instructions to the messenger to give it to the Guru personally. My mind longs for the Blessed Vision of the Guru's Darshan. It cries out like the thirsty song-bird. My thirst is not quenched, and I can find no peace, without the Blessed Vision of the Beloved Saint. ||1|| I am a sacrifice, my soul is a sacrifice, To the Blessed Vision of the Beloved Saint Guru. (SGGS, Raag Maajh, Pannaa 96) Receiving this poem, Guru Ram Das ji seeing the number 3 sensed that there must have been two earlier letters. Aware of the jealousy of his eldest son he confronted Prithi Chand, asking him if he knew anything about previous letters. At first, Prithi Chand denied everything, but seeing the insistence of the Guru and the consequences of his refusal to obey him, he finally confessed his treachery and produced the two earlier letters. (Another story often told has the Guru sending someone to Prithi Chand's quarters who finds the letters in Prithi's clothing.) When Guru Ram Das ji read them, he was moved to tears by the humility and sincerity of his son Arjan's compositions.

The one with all the Jealousy !